Deciding to file for divorce, or receiving news that your spouse has, can be one of the most emotional times in your life. While each relationship is different, there are a few things that you should consider during this time. Your emotions can cloud your ability to make rational decisions, so reminding yourself that this will be a process is an important first step when dealing with this change in your life.
Obviously, going through a divorce is an extremely emotional process. There may be anger and resentment, and also a period of sadness and mourning. Your life is definitely about to change, and there is no way you can understate the influence that your emotions will have on this process. As you go through the process of divorce, you need to do your best to maintain a level head so that you can make decisions that will be most healthy for you in the long run.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Have you done everything to save your marriage?
Sometimes there are emotions that are left on the table, and may leave you feeling unresolved. This might be the time to seek a marriage counselor, speak with your clergy, or read up on saving your relationship before you dive into divorce. You might consider taking a short break to reflect on your life together, and potential life apart and see how that makes you feel.
Think about what your days together look like.
Do your days include laughing or only arguing? Does your spouse irritate you with the smallest things? Have you been intimate and affectionate with your spouse? Thinking about your day to day life together may give you a clearer picture of the work that needs to be done in your marriage.
Can you see yourself living happily without your partner?
Emotions can boil up, and may lead to unnecessary conclusions about the way you really feel about your marriage. It is important for you to really understand what you want and need from the relationship that you may not be getting, and whether you will find it without them.
Are you afraid of life as a divorcee? Is that stopping you from pursuing a divorce?
Some people struggle with the idea that if their marriage fails, that they are a failure. If you are having a difficult time seeing how your life can move forward, it is important to focus on the things that are going right in your life.
Are you prepared for the financial stress a divorce could put on your family?
Divorce can involve any number of factors to consider from child custody or spousal support, to division of marital assets. Educating yourself about the process of divorce will allow you to protect yourself, your children, and also give you piece of mind that you are moving forward and making the right decision.
Do you have a qualified attorney who can assist you with the process?
Having a consultation with an attorney is one of the most important things you can do before filing for divorce. They can help you understand your legal stance and options through the eyes of the law. It is also especially important to hire an attorney if there are children involved in your divorce to ensure that their needs are protected as well.
Questions If You Have Children
If you have children, you will have to take into consideration the effect that it will have on them as this will definitely be an emotional time for them as well. You may want to ask yourself:
How can you ensure that they deal with this life change in a healthy way?
It is important to develop a system that will make them feel safe during this transition, and give them confidence that they will be ok once this is over.
How do you plan to co-parent your children?
Your relationship will probably not end with your spouse if you have children, rather it will evolve. Althought interactions with your ex may be difficult, it is important to remember that your children come first and that your issues with their other parent are not their issues. You must keep your children’s emotions above your own.
Are you prepared for a custody battle?
Ultimately, a judge will decide what is best for your children, but negotiating amicable terms with your ex-spouse will not always go smoothly. This may be as complicated as stepping back and supporting their relationship with your ex-spouse, even if you aren’t personally happy with them. Again, this is a time when emotions surrounding other issues within the marriage may affect the well being of the children, and it is important to make sure that you are always fighting for what is best for them.
If you are considering filing for divorce and have questions about the process and how it will affect your family, Seff & Capizzi Law Group has the ability to assist with your situation. At Seff & Capizzi Law Group, we regularly assist clients and provide valuable information for those that need assistance in understanding how to approach this particular situation in their own lives.
If you need assistance with your divorce or child custody case, please call us at (954) 920-9220. We have over 40 years of experience and offer a free consultation. Click here for more information about our family law practice and how Seff & Capizzi can help.