Your marriage is not going as well as you pictured.  You are not getting along.  You are not attracted to your spouse anymore.  Many questions come to mind when you begin questioning your relationship and start thinking of splitting with your spouse.  Is divorce always the best option?  When is divorce the best option?  Is it cheaper to stay married? What are the advantages of staying married versus getting divorced?

Honestly, working through marital issues instead of divorcing, can lead up to a stronger relationship and exceptional levels of happiness, especially if there are children involved.  It may not be an easy thing to do.  On the contrary, it would take a lot of hard work, but in the end, the payoff could be priceless.

The pros and cons of staying married could differ depending on each particular case.  For example, if you feel trapped in a relationship due to a controlling spouse, divorce may be your best option.  You should never lose yourself nor let anyone control your life and vice versa.  Or even worse, if you and your children are enduring physical and psychological abuse because you are living in a violent environment, divorce is your only way out.  Don’t think twice and seek help right away.  If you or someone you know is in an unsafe situation, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline

Studies have shown that there are lots of significant advantages of staying together, here are some of the most critical aspects to consider:

  1. Emotional: Some studies that looked at symptoms of anxiety, depression, neurosis, and passivity revealed that a good marriage could give men and women an equal mental health boost. Other studies showed that men and women sleep better throughout the night when lying next to their partner.  Some people may get a sense of accomplishment and security when working out their issues, knowing that staying together and maintaining a healthy relationship does not come easy.
  2. Pain and Stress: Despite the issues that are bringing the marriage down, there are emotional and psychological bonds towards your spouse, your children, and the extended family. As your relationship falls apart, you may start to hate the other person for their part in what caused the marriage to fail.  But please do not forget to analyze your role in the fail of your marriage.  If you and your spouse are willing to give your relationship a second chance, mediation may be a real option for your case.
  3. Children: A divorce is a hard and painful process, and can have a more significant impact when there are children involved. Solving your marriage problems is one of the greatest positive life lessons you can give to your children. In fact, children of divorced parents are more likely to divorce and vice versa.
  4. Finances: A divorce can be expensive. Legal fees from hiring attorneys are costly for both parties, and additional fees can add up when children are involved. One parent might be entitled to child support and, in some cases, alimony.  That means that the other spouse will need to come up with extra money to cover those expenses.  Some researchers have determined that individuals that get divorced may require an average of 30% increase in income to maintain their previous lifestyle.  47% of divorced people say after the divorce, their financial situation worsens.  35% had to go into debt.  22% had to pursue financial support.  28% had to sell personal assets.  27% had to get rid of financial investments.  About 20% of women go into poverty as a result of divorce.  Most men suffer a loss in their standard of living in the years following the divorce, usually about 10% to 40% depending on circumstances.
  5. Third-Party Relationships: When a couple separates, both sides of the family get a direct impact. The extended family decreases at the departure of in-laws or other relatives, impacting the children more than anyone else.  Friends and even coworkers from each side are often affected by the divorce, too.  It will be difficult for your friends to keep a relationship with each party.  Depending on the cause or issue that ended the marriage, and in most cases, they take one side.

We all experience issues growing up, as we learn to adjust and share our lives with others, especially with siblings.  The same reigns true when married.  We need to adapt and share our lives with the partner we picked, and hitting road bumps is unavoidable.  The issues caused by those bumps should not be the reason to end the relationship.  Unless you are in an abusive relationship or dealing with infidelity, you might want to examine all of your options before seeking help to get a divorce.  You may have hidden opportunity and a good chance of success once you start peeling back the onion of issues openly and honestly with your significant other.  Divorce should be a last resort, but in some cases, it is the best and only final solution.

At Seff & Capizzi Law Group, we regularly assist clients and provide valuable information for those that need assistance in understanding how to approach this particular situation in their own lives.  If you are not sure if getting a divorce or mediation would be the best option for you, please call us at (954) 920-9220. We have over 40 years of experience and offer a free consultation. Click here for more information about our family law practice and how Seff & Capizzi can help.